Do Your Job!

43 days until surgery.

I feel lazy. I can’t help it. All this sitting around. Resting. I know it’s good for me and it’s exactly what I’m supposed to be doing right now but I can’t seem to shake this feeling that I’m lazy. Useless. Letting everyone down. It doesn’t matter that everyone is constantly reminding me to sit back down, rest, take it easy, ask for help… Where does this needing to feel busy come from? I’m still working from home. My house is clean. Laundry is washed. My boys and dog are fed and healthy and happy. My to do list is unusually empty these days and yet I still feel like I’m not doing enough. I just don’t get it. I feel guilty for resting and guilty for not resting. My body and my brain are clearly not communicating well. I’ve tried setting intentions and meditating on it but even as I sit here typing this I’m thinking about how I really need to clean out my garage. I’m officially waving the white flag. I give up. I know that resting is my #1 job right now. I have to do it for me, my health, my family, and my life. So what can I do to help myself accept that fact? Own it? Appreciate it? Be at peace with it? I’m open to any and all suggestions…

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