The two things I want more than anything

First, I wish to see myself the way others see me. I can hear what they say about me, feel how they feel about me, and see the way they look at me. I know that I am loved, admired, and respected. My ten-year-old recently told me that I am the greatest person he knows. I believe that he feels this way. My little guy says I’m so beautiful. I know he means it. But I don’t see myself the way they, or others, do. I harbor shame and guilt and anger towards myself. I think and feel negative things about myself. I look in the mirror or at pictures and don’t see the beautiful person my boys think I am but I pick out all of the parts of me that aren’t perfect. I hold myself back from things that I want because I feel like I’m not good enough, strong enough, or smart enough. Imagine what I could do, what I could achieve, if I believed I was even half the person others think I am.

Second, I wish I could see the world live up to all of the potential I know that it has. If we, all of the creatures of this miraculous planet, acted with what I believe is the secret to happy co-existence: kindfulness. Kinfulness is the act of being mindful of your actions through being kind to yourself, kind to others, and kind to nature. If we stop destroying each other and the earth around us and just exist peacefully. Build each other up instead of tearing each other down. Stop trying to prove who is smarter or stronger or richer. Why waste the precious time we have in conflict with ourselves and others trying to be something that we are not? We need more acceptance. We need more encouragement. We need more kindfulness.

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