One of the best pieces of parenting advice I ever got was “pick your battles”. If you don’t want to be that “nagging” mom you have to let the little things go (like if they want to wear two different camo patterns together just let them) and stand firm on the things that really matter to you (like always saying “please” and “thank you”). This is something that has stuck with me and fits nicely with my all around motto of “Don’t sweat the small stuff!”.
I’m also generally a positive person. I believe that things happen for a reason. I believe in karma. I believe in being a good person, seeing the best in people, second chances, A for effort… all of it. I can usually see the silver lining in situations. If not at first, certainly after finding the lesson in it and committing to moving forward.
And then I got sick…
Most days I can still “power of positivity” my way through it. I see it as an opportunity for growth. To learn to take care of myself. To learn to be more gentle with myself. To listen to my body. Things I was never really good at because I was such a people pleaser. I finally have an opportunity to put myself first. I even make jokes about being sick. I say things like, “I put the “LIT” in disabiLITy” … badumpbum… But some days are really hard.
This week has been a string of really hard days.
I struggle through work. It is painful just to sit at my desk. I finally get home and have all these things I want to do but my body just wants to shut down. I try reasoning with it. Like how about we just get the laundry put away and then we’ll sit? But it’s sort of like reasoning with a toddler that’s having a temper tantrum because you cut their sandwich into triangles instead of squares. It seems hopeless.
And then I remember to pick my battles. I remind myself that I expect too much sometimes. I realize that compassion and understanding are important. Especially with myself. So the laundry sits another day. The “screaming toddler” is happy once again. And I have time to write. The sliver lining. Lesson learned.